


Jealous Feelings

by WinterReadingerDixon67



Series: Marvel OneShots [40]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Bucky Barnes Feels, F/M, Feels, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Jealous Bucky Barnes, Jealousy, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Self-Doubt, Self-Hatred, nervous Bucky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-26
Updated: 2017-07-26
Packaged: 2018-12-07 08:13:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11619543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinterReadingerDixon67/pseuds/WinterReadingerDixon67
Summary: Bucky wants to date the reader, but becomes jealous of her relationship with Steve.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AnaGP](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnaGP/gifts), [thesuperwholock394](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesuperwholock394/gifts).



> Bucky’s POV. I was going to make this all sad and angsty, but I just couldn’t do that for this one. Thank you lovelies for requesting this and wanted another part!

* * *

 

Steve’s laugh echoed down the hall, followed by hers. Then the two of them came walking in with tears in their eyes, arms wrapped around their sides bent over laughing. Y/N was wheezing trying to catch her breath from something Steve said. I watched as her hand held tightly onto his arm as she wiped the tears from her face. Steve wrapped an arm around her shoulders and continued on towards the couches after grabbing some snacks from the kitchen.

I watch from my hiding spot, well not really a hiding spot, just a place where I was hardly noticed where no one could bother me. Didn’t need the extra attention, I had enough I had to deal with anyway. So I continued watching the two. My best friend was so comfortable, so carefree, laughing with another individual. It looked so easy, being able to lounge around and laugh as if the world outside didn’t even bother him or that the nightmares were not even a thing to be worried about, and how it was so fucking easy to make her smile, to make her laugh. When instead I do the complete opposite.

I looked down at my hand or lack there off. Sure, it was a  _ hand _ , but it was a  _ hand _ that had killed numerous people, destroyed families. It was made to take life rather than cherish it. They’re laughing again, this time it’s Y/N laughing at the stories Steve and I used to tell each other back when...back when I was still Bucky. Not when I’m….just stories. He’s telling her how scrawny and awkward he was back then, having two left feet when it came to dancing.

Stupid fucking punk telling her stories about me I couldn’t even remember, memories that were taken away from me. Ones I wish I  _ could _ remember. He shouldn’t even be the one to tell those stories, they weren’t his to tell. But what do I know? Apparently nothing, I don’t even remember that much anyway.

I don’t even think I remember how to dance. A voice calls out to me, breaking me from my thoughts.

“Bucky didn’t know you were there.” Steve and Y/N are looking up at me with those stupid goofy grins on their faces. “What are you doing up there? You know Clint’s nest is up there somewhere, we could play a prank on him if you want.”

I needed to leave, get away from Steve. From Y/N. I could smell her favorite lotion from here, it was intoxicating and I couldn’t stand it.

“No thanks, I gotta get going anyways,” I respond, quickly jumping down from my perch from the ceiling, landing perfectly on my feet. Normally, that would cause serious injury to a human being, but I’m not even sure if I’m human anymore.

“Gotta have Tony look at...this,” I look down at my arm again, missing the concerned look in Y/N’s eyes. Steve’s smile faltered a bit but nodded in understanding.

“Okay, well I’m going to go on a run later if you want to join me. See if I can still outrun you.”

“Sure, Steve, I’ll let you know.” I walked away, heading in the complete opposite direction of Tony’s lab and instead for the roof, needing to get air….and lots of it.

\--------------------

                                                          

I’m not sure how long I’ve been up here, the suns already starting to hide away, bringing on the change of night. The wind turned chilly, where a coat and hat were definitely needed, considering how high up I was, but it didn’t bother me. It helped numb my feelings, dampening emotions I so desperately didn’t want. I guess that was a good thing about being the Winter Soldier, being an asset for Hydra meant you no longer had emotions. My thoughts turned darker, broke my heart even more, made me confused, turned me green with jealousy over Steve and his close relationship with Y/N.

They made a cute couple I knew that, but it didn’t mean I had to like it. I wanted to be the one who made her laugh, who threw popcorn at her and chase her around. To be the one to kiss her, take her out on dates. But no, no I had to be the one who couldn’t have that life. Wasn’t  _ allowed _ that life.

It wasn’t fair….nothing was fair. Not for me anyways. 

“Bucky, what the hell are you doing up here? It’s fucking cold!” I whirled around to see Y/N standing by the roof entrance, wearing a [thick burgundy sweatshirt](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/210050770097836804/), complete with a white scarf and hat. In her other hand, she held another hat and scarf, pretty sure they were for me. She walked up and sat down beside me handing me her offerings.

“The cold doesn’t bother me.”

“Well, it bothers me. Just ‘cause you can’t get sick doesn’t mean it still might happen. So,” she put the hat on and wrapped the scarf around my neck, “better safe than sorry.”

“Where’s Steve? Thought you’d be with him.” Ignoring her comment completely, even though I wanted to feel the warmth of her hands on my skin again. Y/N looked at me confused.

“Why would I be with Steve?”

“Well, you’re always with him. Every time I see you, you’re with Steve. You’re always laughing, doing something.” I waved my hand in the air to get my point across. “I mean I’m happy for the both of you, you make a great couple and Steve’s a great guy.” Y/N started laughing, now I was confused and a little agitated.

“Wait, you think Steve and I are  _ dating _ ?” I nod sheepishly, gazing down, ignoring those perfect eyes of hers. “Bucky, Steve and I are  _ definitely _ not dating. Far from it actually, I mean yeah he’s a great guy, but he’s not exactly the guy I want to go dancing with. If you know what I mean.” Now she was the one who was looking away sheepishly, playing with the sleeves on her sweater.

“So...not, wait,” my eyes grow wide like saucers as I understood what she meant, she meant  _ me. _ Y/N liked  _ me. _ “Me? You like  _ me _ ? Why the hell would you like me?”

“Why wouldn’t I like you, Bucky? You’re a great guy! You’re a badass Avenger, who has a freakin’ cool metal arm that is so gentle. Not to mention your eyes and body are a huge plus too by the way.” Her face paled when she realized what she just said and a smile grew on my face. I couldn’t wait any longer. I leaned over and kissed her soft lips, cupping her rosy cheeks and feeling her cold nose press against my skin as she kissed me back. She wrapped her hand around my scarf and pulled me closer, until I was practically laying on top of her. But a strong burst of cold wind broke us apart. I brushed my nose against hers, getting lost in her eyes, feeling happy for the first time in a long time.

“We should probably get back inside before we both die up here. Not exactly how I’d like to go when I still haven’t had my first date yet.” Y/N smiled up at me, which I happily returned. I stood up and offered her a hand, not letting go when we headed back inside.

“Wait…..were you  _ jealous _ of what I had with Steve?” I frowned slightly but gave her a small nod. But she just kissed me again quickly and kept walking, still holding my hand. “You’re pretty cute when you’re jealous, Bucky. And besides, now we have an excuse to be cute and fluffy in front of Steve. So I demand lots of kisses and cuddles.” I pulled her back to me and held her waist.

“You got it, doll.” I kissed her again and again, letting her know just how happy I was. I might not remember my past memories, but I was going to make sure I remembered these new ones. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky finally asks her and goes on his first date in 70 years. He’s been on countless dates before, so why does he feel so nervous?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the fluffiness!

* * *

 

“Seriously, get a grip,” I ran my hands through my hair nervously, “you’re the fuckin’ Winter Soldier you fuckin’ shit.” I looked at my reflection, I knew I looked good, my arm was covered by a denim jacket, the black jeans and boots were a nice touch - thanks to Nat - but I still felt out of place.

No, scratch that, I’m fucking terrified that everyone’s going to see me out and about with some girl. But not just any girl….Y/N. Steve’s best friend who everyone knows about. I mean, I totally understand how someone would be disgusted with the fact of everyone’s favorite staff member of Tony’s is dating the guy who killed his parents.

Not to mention PR would blow up. God, what would they think of Steve? Knowing that his best friend, murderer, killer, is dating a fellow member of his team. Fuck, would they attack Y/N because of her interests in me? And how Steve would’ve made a better man for her. Maybe going on this date with Y/N is a bad idea.

“If you hate the outfit that much, you can just change it.” Steve was standing by the doorway, propped up by his hip.

“What?”

“This about the date? Because if it is, you don’t have to worry about it. She’s actually really excited.”

“Why?” Steve’s face grew concerned when he heard my arm recalibrate. Something that it more often did when I grew tense or agitated.

“What do you mean why?”

“You know why, Steve.” I sigh out in frustration, the clothes feeling even more constricting than they did before.

“Well, enlighten me then.”

“Look at me, Steve!” I threw my hands up, arm humming loudly due to the movement. “Look at me and tell me what you see!”

“I see the jerk I grew up with, who’s freaking the fuck out over a date with a girl he’s been smitten with for the longest time.” My arms dropped back to my sides in defeat. He didn't get it, he didn’t understand.

“And you honestly think it’s a good idea for me to do this? Me? The man who tried to kill all of you, who could  _ still _ kill all of you?” Steve groans slowly in frustration, but I kept my mouth shut. Knowing that he’d rip me a new one either way.

“This is more than just going on a date isn’t it?” I look away, trying to distance myself mentally from the situation. Really not wanting to talk about this anymore. “You know I don’t care about any of that right? Neither does Y/N. Pepper’s in charge of all the PR for us, that includes you. Plus, I’m pretty sure Nat would love to convince those who think otherwise, that in fact, it's a great idea.”

I stare down at my feet, taking in what he said, still trying to wrap my head around the fact that I’m actually going to do this. “What if she doesn’t like what she sees?”

“I’m pretty sure she likes what she sees, Buck.” Shaking my head, I look back to the mirror, flexing my left hand.

“But what if she doesn’t?” Steve sighed softly, coming up beside me and gripped my left shoulder.

“She likes you Buck and everything about you. She told me that she loves the fact that you’re so brave in every way. So,” he turned me around and shoved me towards the door, “calm yo tits and go get her.”

I laugh, facing Steve, “You really need to stop hanging out with Sam, Steve. He’s a bad influence.” I head out to go pick up Y/N, my date. Fuck….I’m going to pick up my  _ date _ .

\------------

“Bucky! You’re here, come in! I just have to grab my shoes.” Y/N leaves the door open and runs off to get her shoes. I look around the room. As I walk in, there are pictures on the wall of everyone.

My heart stopped. I leaned in closer to get a better look, but there it was. There was a picture of me leaning against a window, eyes closed with the sun streaming down on me. I look…..tired, but yet….peaceful.

“I hope you don’t mind.” Y/N was pointing at the photo, a small smile on her face. “But you looked so calm there and well…” she looked down and toed the carpet, “I could never get a nice picture of you, without it turning into Grumpy Cat.”

“No, it’s...it’s okay.” I take a nervous step towards her. “I’ve never...never seen myself like that before. Not,” now it was my turn to look away, “not for a long time.” A soft hand placed itself on my cheek, my shoulders drop as I push back into the touch.

“We could take another one today if you want. Of just the two of us.” I place a kiss to her palm, before linking our fingers together.

“I know just the place, doll.”

\-------------

It didn’t take us long, but we ended up in the one place I loved to go to when I couldn't’ sleep. The Botanical Gardens. It was late in the afternoon when it was less crowded, but none of that mattered because I was taking her to a place where I often went to. We stopped and looked at the cherry blossoms on the trees, walking down the paths in content silence. Y/N would often stop to look at something and it would give me the perfect opportunity to look at her. The way her smile grew as children danced under the falling petals, grandparents sitting beside each other, silent with smiles on their faces.

“So where are you taking me? Or is it a big secret?”

I nervously ran my hand along my neck. “Well, it’s...it’s actually a...private place. Steve doesn’t even know about it.” I say the last part under my breath, now feeling even more nervous about this whole thing.

“Would it be easier to just show me?” I nod quickly, taking her hand once again leading her down the path before she could say anything. Before I could change my mind. A few minutes later and here we were, standing in front of a pond, looking out towards a bridge and trees. Everything was so green and...alive. Which is why I loved coming here, it made me feel that way. Alive.

“Bucky, this….oh my god….this is beautiful.” Y/N’s face lit up in awe, her eyes widening at the sight. She stood absolutely still. Only moving when she breathed. She looked so beautiful standing there, the light shining down on her through the trees.

“Buck, I - I don’t know what to say.” Her eyes locked with mine and I couldn't, I needed to let her know how I felt. Closing the gap between us, I held her face softly and kissed her. Not the one we shared up on the roof, but one much more than that. She sighed against me, resting her hands on top of mine. Needing her closer, I brought mine down to rest on her hips, pulling her closer. Y/N brought her hands up to my face, grazing her fingertips over the light stubble on my jaw, then through my hair. Resting on the back of my neck.

Remembering we were still in a public place, I reluctantly pulled away, resting my forehead against hers. And there we stood, in the quiet. The sound of the wind rustling through the leaves, the distant sound of families somewhere nearby.

“Look at them, dear. Told you romance isn’t dead, Gerold.” The both of us jumped at the voices. The elder couple we saw earlier happened to be walking by.

“Oh sorry, excuse Marge, it’s just not every day we see love like yours with younger couples.” Y/N blushed, hiding her face in my neck. I laughed slightly.

“Thank you, sir.”

“Sir? Ooo, he has manners as well as being young and dashing.” Marge’s face lit up, winking over at me. I felt my face grow warm.

“We’ll let you youngins get back to it, no need to stop on our account.” Now I’m pretty sure my face is red. The couple said their goodbyes and left. Leaving us both flustered and embarrassed, even though we’re not doing anything. I’m afraid to look up not wanting to show Y/N how red I was. God this was embarrassing. On the first date no less.

But Y/N was convincing, her hands stroked my hair easing my face from her neck, where I was hiding. “Can’t believe we got caught, by the same couple we were spying on earlier.” I held her tighter.

“I think it would be best if we left. I’m going to need to hide from the world for the rest of the week.” Y/N giggled, linking her hand with mine.

“Come on, young and dashing, let’s order in and watch a movie when we get back.” And that’s exactly what we did. We changed into our night clothes, ordered Chinese, popped popcorn and Y/N helped me get caught up on the movies I missed. It was just the two of us. No one else. And it felt...right. Sure, we might be put in the news before the week is over, but Steve was right. Y/N wants this, wants this with me. And I wouldn’t change it for the world.

* * *

 

Bucky’s & Y/N’s outfit:

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because Bucky fluff is always the best!


End file.
